Actually, with a world of 6 billion plus, I know there are others. Many probably. And if for no other reason, this may be the healthiest thing for me to do. I am a father and a husband. While the first presents enough challenges as it is these days, this blog is dedicated to helping me understand, discuss, and work through the latter: being married to an anorexic/bulimic wife with a growing drinking problem. I don’t know what subtopics I will be discussing, but I am guessing that it will come naturally as time and events unfold.
So far I can feel myself slowly shutting down emotionally towards my wife. I have weathered a lot through the six short years that I we have been married, and have been able to muster up the desire, love, and endurance to hang in there through suicide attempts, fits of rage and depression, cutting, moving in and out of our house, divorce proceedings…shit that I wouldn’t wish upon anybody. In the six short years some days I feel I have aged twenty. Don’t get me wrong…there have been long stretches of great peace and happiness. There has been very healthy counselling and genuine desires/attempts to change. Then months, perhaps a entire year passes and the demons come out to play again. I just don’t know how many cycles of this I can take.
And I probably wouldn’t if it were not for our two sons and the fact that we semi-recently moved to a foreign country. That and I genuinely believe she can change…I am just quickly losing faith that she will.
As I start writing I can see how much more I could add, but if anyone comes across this, I would love to hear how others who are/were in a similar position manage(d). Am I simply on a sinking ship refusing to acknowledge the obvious?
